Tight Quarters...

"Billions of animals are transported to slaughter each year in the United States and across our borders, suffering terribly in the process. They endure deprivation of food and water, exposure to extreme heat or cold, overcrowding and injury, and lack of opportunity for rest. These cruel transport practices and the misery they cause are driven by economics and fueled by a lack of government oversight. Animals pay the price in pain and suffering to provide cheap meat to consumers and to increase meat industry profits. What is most shocking, there is effectively no federal regulation of farmed animal transportation in the United States. While Congress has enacted more than 50 statutes regarding animal welfare, only two laws address the welfare of animals raised for food or food production. Neither of these laws applies to animals transported by truck, although it is the primary way in which farmed animals are transported. Please join us in urging Congress to enact a law regulating the transport of farmed animals throughout the United States and across our borders." Urge Congress to enact a law regulating the transport of farmed animals!..

Girl On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown...

Today was the worst day in the history of my life, ever. I registered for another class today, which makes six classes this semester. I'm also working part-time as the afternoon preschool teacher's assitant now that I've been demoted (haha) since I have so many classes. I'm really bummed out from all the animal welfare stuff too, it depresses me to read of the cruelty people are capable of, and see the pictures and the videos. It really makes me want to give up sometimes, but it just makes me want to do what I can for those that are suffering. But today, I am just sad...

Roxy...

Honey-bunny.
She doesn't like walking in a straight line, she zig-zags.
She has a mohawk, and it's all natural.
Her personality surpasses her size, and her love is unconditional.
She sprints out of the bathtub if I look away for a second.
She gives LOTS of kisses, and chases anything that moves, except birds.
She loves to dig on my bed and push the covers off onto the ground.
She likes to tear the stuffing out of the couch in my living room when she gets excited.
When she wants to go walking she will pace, then she will bark at me, then she will tug my pants.
She curls up next to me at night, and if I move, she moves with me.
She LOVES her mini tennis balls, and demands a treat everytime she comes in front outside.
She hides under the bench at doggie daycare, and got bit by a crab at the beach...on her nose.
She follows bugs on the patio and eats them.
She lays on my robe when I shower, and hides under my bed in the corner when she hears the vacuum.
She likes it when I hold her against my chest like a baby, and she loves being brushed.
She hates the beach, but loves swimming outside at doggie daycare.
She's slowly learning that squirrels are friends not chewing toys.
She's one of a kind.
She's my little buddy, Roxy.

Busy Bee...

Today was a really busy day, but I got some good news. My MRI went well and the doctor told me that there is no serious damage to the soft tissue around my right knee, which is what he thought might be causing the pain and the random popping out of my knee when fully bent. So no answer as to why my knee is aching and popping out randomly, but at least it's not serious tissue damage. He recommended physical therapy to strengthen the tissue around my knee so it won't pop out, but I'll have to see if I can fit it into my immediate schedule for now. It might just have to wait, I'm very busy right now. I'm not moving along very fast on my art piece either, which bums me out because I really want to work on it but classes are keeping me busy. I miss being at work everyday too, I don't get to see the kids as much, and I always get there too late for art time, that bums me out too. I miss the kids. Life is busy. I can't wait to move to Maui and relax, bitches! Just kidding! So far my classes are good, and I only have one obnoxious girl in one of my classes, and one I just plain don't like. Haha!..

Hahaha...

Yeah I said Monkey Spankers...What?...Are there no Monkey Spankers in Texas?!...

Leave...

It's amazing
How you make your face just like a wall
How you take your heart and turn it off
How I turn my head and lose it all

It's unnerving
How just one move puts me by myself
There you go just trusting someone else
Now I know I put us both through hell

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna be
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

It's aggravating
How you threw me on and you tore me out
How your good intentions turn to doubt
The way you needed time to sort it out

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
I'm not saying we ever had the right to hold on
I just didn't wanna let it get away from me

But if that's how it's gonna be
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

I'm not saying there was nothing wrong
I just didn't think you'd ever get tired of me
But if that's how it's gonna be
Straight out from underneath
Then we'll see who's sorry now
If that's how it's gonna stand, when
You know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out

Tell me is that how it's going to end
When you know you've been depending on
The one you're leaving now
And the one you're leaving out
The one you're leaving now
The one you're leaving out...

~ Matchbox 20

Amish Country's Dirty Little Secret...

Today was a very sad day. I went down to Holmes County for the puppy mill protest at the Holmes County Flea Market. There was a good turn-out and we met some great protesters who drove hours to be there. (The picture above is of some of the protesters who came out today). There are over 400 puppy mills in Holmes County, where dogs are mass produced, born into filthy and unsanitary conditions. Breeding dogs are bred for most of their lifespan, and are "put down" once they cannot be bred anymore. Most often they MUST be put down because their uteruses explode from the non-stop breeding. The method used by the Amish to "put down" dogs is bludgening them to death with a blow to the head. They opt not to shoot them because they are "put down" in such great numbers, that it's more cost effective to them to do it this way. This is a horrible death for dogs that have suffered and existed in unsanitary and dirty conditions most of their lives, without any human affection. Their sole purpose was to be used for making money. Being used for profit and shown no real care let alone love, and being unable to stop their own suffering, makes for a very sad and lonely life. Many puppies are also born with deformities and health problems due to the excessive and incestual breeding of the dogs. These puppies are also "put down" since they are of no use to anyone looking to make a profit. A few of the lucky ones get rescued, but many of them are not so lucky. They are discarded as if they don't deserve a chance in this world. Dog shelters are crowded, and dogs are being euthanized daily in large numbers, while puppy mills are mass-producing more. They are making huge profits, while dogs in shelters are being killed to make room for more dogs in need of homes. It's really very sad, because thousands of animals don't have a choice in choosing life. By mass-producing more dogs, we are taking away the lives of dogs that are already in need. It really makes me feel like there is no hope for a humanity that turns over lives in exchange for something as meaningless as money. If there is a devil, a humanity like ours has already sold its soul to him. I just keep hoping that people will someday realize that the biggest fight in front of all of us is the preservation of life. Anyways, I got down to the protest around 9:15, and people were allowed in to see the dogs for auction until 10:00. The first thing I heard as soon as I got there was that there had been a German Shephard inside who was do to be "put down" after the auction, and it had a broken jaw and part of its lip was missing. The Amish had finally agreed to surrender the dog over to a Humane Officer, and the dog was taken away. I was disguisted, and unsure whether I'd be able to go inside after hearing that. I get very emotional very easily, I just love animals so much and they are so widely mistreated and abused by people, it really gets to me sometimes. I had gone to a puppy mill protest at the same flea market earlier this year, but have never gone inside to see the dogs, though I've heard of the poor conditions. Today I decided to go inside and see the dogs. I walked in and immediately I was overcome with a rush of emotion. There were dog cages EVERYWHERE, stacked one on top of the other, the dog cages were filled with feces, the dogs from the top cages were urinating on the dogs below, and none of the cages had food or water. This is an all day auction, and these dogs had no water and no food available to them whatsoever. It was so disturbing being in such a dispicable environment and watching people walking around like machines, like what they were seeing was normal. To make it worse, one of the other protesters handed me a really sweet little white puppy that was so tiny it could fit in just my hands. I held it against my chest and my eyes started welling up, and then he tried to climb upward and I bent my head down to let it sniff me. That's when I lost it and had to get out of there. They had locked the front doors in preparation for the start of the auction, so I had to walk through to the auction room, and by all the caged dogs. Some had signs on the cages which said 'Out.' From what I gathered that meant they were not for sale, and were going to be "put down" after the auction today because of injury and lack of sale. I was very overcome with a feeling of utter despair and sadness, I just felt like I had to go away from there, far away where it wouldn't feel so real. People can be so cold, and so much like machines. Desensitized to feeling the pain and suffering of innocent life. Everyone is out to make a profit. We spend our whole lives working to make money, to have things, always more money, always more things. Never stop to take a look around and just feel for a little while. Be a human being. Have a heart. Know the suffering of others. Some days it feels hopeless, like no-one is listening, it's only my own echo out there. Maybe someday life will be more than just chasing the profit at all cost, and maybe more of life will remain...

Someone Please Tell Me...

Animals possess such depth that they forgive us for the cruelty we inflict upon them. How can people use them, make them suffer, and take their lives away so easily?..It really gets me deep down...I don't understand, I just don't understand...

Life On A Chain...

Today I am posting a special blog about a special group of neglected and suffering animals. Dogs who are kept chained or penned outdoors. They lack adequate space to move around, and they are deprived of water, shade, and medical care in times of injury and illness. Dogs chained outside are forced to sleep, eat, and relieve themselves in the same little patch of dirt. During the hot summer months, when flies are drawn to the dogs' accumulated waste and start eating away at the sensitive skin on dogs' ear tips, life becomes totally unbearable. These neglected dogs are plagued by unrelenting "flystrike." Flies actually eat away at their flesh, leaving bloody wounds that often become infected. Every day, PETA's Community Animal Project fieldworkers come to the rescue of dogs who have little bloody stumps where their ear tips should be. Blowflies are the worst: They lay their eggs under dogs' skin, and when the eggs hatch, maggots eat the dogs' flesh, causing even more distress. PETA fieldworkers visit these homes frequently and check on the conditions of dogs who are kept outside in low-income areas and who are vulnerable to fly attacks. They deliver sturdy, hand-built doghouses filled with straw; give dogs fresh water; apply medicated fly repellent to their wounds; and try to educate their guardians about proper care. It can take several visits before the situation improves. Sometimes they must pressure local law enforcement to seize the dogs. If you, as I, cherish animals, you'll help. They share our homes and our lives, and they give us love and affection. It's hard to face the fact that many of them have never known any real comforts, been inside a home, eaten a nourishing meal, tasted fresh water in a clean container, or experienced a kind human touch. Please visit PETA's website HERE to help...

Everything Is The Will Of God These Days...

Somehow none of the bullshit people tell me, or any of the reasons they try to make me understand seem to justify the taking of life. I find it especially interesting when the "God fearin' folk" try to convince me it's for the betterment of the world, since I thought God preached of the value of life. Somehow I have a hard time accepting that a loving God would only teach us of loving human life, and specify the rest of life as unimportant. Why would a loving God give life to animals if they were destined from the beginning to suffer at our hands? I don't remember any religious text approving the suffering and torture of any form of life for profit. God did not tell us to profit from the taking of life. Yet the supposed followers of a higher power are telling me that life (life given by a higher power) is THEIR'S to take away. I don't get people, they just interpret religious text however they please, to explain away their sins and wrongs. Killing animals is supposedly alright because religious text (written and changed over time by man) tells us it is alright. I just have a hard time believing that a loving God would allow the suffering of any life. The sad thing is, it makes no difference to most people if it's wrong. In the end people would just rather live a life of self-satisfaction and self-indulgences, and call it the will of God. Religious text also bothers me. Any religious text has been written by man, although may as it be the "word" of a higher power. Man will write everything within the context of his own beliefs. Everyone has their own way of thinking, and I know if I was to write a religious "book" I would write it as I interpreted the word of God to be. I don't understand organized religion, it's man made. God never said organize yourselves in groups and worship me in my many houses. Why must the worship of God take place in a building built by man? If there is truly a deep-rooted belief in a higher power, and there is a relationship tying man to it, than why can the worship not take place in any location? If there is a place of worship in someone's heart, as many followers of religion explain, than why must there be a physical location of worship designated by people for each other? And then you are condemned for not conforming to their ideals of regular church attendance and worship. I just see religion as such a pressure to conform to one rigid set of beliefs and adopt those beliefs as your own, excluding all others. I just think a true following is when you follow what you believe, and don't refuse ideas just because they are not part of your designated religion. Religion is such a hoax to me, it's man conning man into conformity under organized sets of ideals picked by a superior at one time. And God is not the superior in the case of religion, because there are so many religions that teach different things that the discrepencies come from different ideals set by different people. It's weird to me, and I don't understand people's need to flock into religious conformity and label themselves as belonging in religion with others...

Goodnight Very Hungry Caterpillar...

I know you don't get it...it's an inside joke...

Just Another Day In The Life Of A Superhero...

Look! Up in the sky!...It's a bird!...It's a plane!...It's...Roxy a.k.a. Super Puppy! (Ok, so the red eyes are a little creepy, but I can't fix them! Help me!)

Once In A Pink Grapefruit Moon...

Love is when he'll grow you a garden full of sunflowers.
A lack of thought and the presence of spontaneous feeling.
Watermelon bubbles, because you love watermelon and you love bubbles.
Tootsie rolls on a Sunday afternoon, because they are your favorite.
Enough Hershey's kisses to fill the separation.
Random acts of uncandid laughter.
A strawberry in a barrell of lemons.
And it only happens once in a pink grapefruit moon.

Turtle As Machine...

Those who cannot love will never open to love, their love is only a fascade to meaningless machine-like motions...

Oh To Be Young Again...

The world seemed so wonderful then...

My Little Buddy For Life...

I love her...

Sweet Contemplation...

"We must recognise that the suffering of one person or one nation is the suffering of humanity." ~ The Dalai Lama

Disarm This Administration...

So I was reading this blog about how there was a proposition made to Iran some time ago about surrendering its nuclear weapons. It made me very angry. The proposition to Iran to disarm its nuclear weapons, has been widely hypocritical. If Iran is to surrender its weapons in the name of peace, why not the country we live in? Why doesn't America set an example since we are so powerful and "hollier than thou" when it comes to other countries? It seems we are telling others to surrender their weapons because they are not suited to have them, but our own weapons are killing children and innocent people DAILY in Iraq, in a seriously misguided war that has been misrepresented to the people by the government. I have observed this war in Iraq as being mainly hyped by the government and hazy in terms of what we are told. Bush is talking out of his ass most all the time, and telling us as little as he can about what's really happening in Iraq, which is that there is no progress being made, only miniscule changes. Iraq is not any closer to a democratic government than they were before Saddam was brought down. How can they be? It was clear from the beggining that the United States was never going to give the Iraqi people the independence we were led to believe was going to result from this war. A Democratic government would not be possible in Iraq because of the fighting among the diverse groups in the country. So what will happen now? The fact is there is no progress being made, people are dying, and Bush is stumbling to try to explain away the reasons why, and to construe some sort of sensible yet miniscule goal that can be met, and he will then claim it as a victory over terrorism. There have been countless victories over terrorism, yet when I think about it, there is only one maybe, and that's the downfall of Saddam (who truly is a bad man). Where are the victories his administration has promised us? Like freedom for the Iraqi people? A democratic government within the first year? It's been 4 years. Yet there are all these victories, that have been elevated to such success, yet not much has changed from these victories Bush has called so "changing" and "crucial." How long is he going to be allowed to make bad decisions and feed us this bullshit? He has sent us into enormous debt, sent our soldiers to war, attempted to force the submission of other countries to his will, and he explained it all away with bullshit. Absolute crap. He is too busy being "a war president" to worry about his people past election day. He stood up and opposed homosexuality too (I am not discrimitory against any sexuality, I'm simply stating this issue was his campaign strongpoint), but only until round two of his presidency began, then it was back to "war president" and more bullshit for the masses. Enough is enough. Enough people have died, enough children have been orphaned. I'm not willing to accept the mass killing of innocent people in exchange for greed, in silence. I won't sit down and shut up, so keep telling me I'm unpatriotic, bitches. Disarm this administration I say…

Shouting Silent...

I watched a documentary this morning called 'Shouting Silent' and it was about children in Africa orphaned by the HIV/AIDS deaths of their parents. It broke my heart, children were wandering the streets begging for food, many without anyone to count on or turn to. The documentation of such poverty and loneliness made me sick. It's such an unthinkable kind of life there. You see it and you hear about it, but then one day it becomes real, and what you've seen and heard gains meaning and reality. If we are sending $1 billion a day to Iraq, A DAY, then why can't we send help to not just Africa, but other countries affected by poverty? People try to make the answer to that question out to be so complicated. It's simple, we all know it's simple, and we all know why it's not happening. Aren't the lives of our brothers and sisters who are struggling in this life with us more important than the material things? If we sent $1 billion to Africa to help fight poverty, children would not have to beg on the streets for food, they would have a chance at a descent life. The kind of life we all wish for our own kids. But isn't it the responsibility of a race to look out for it's members. The human race. There's all this money spent on killing more people, where there is a bigger killer among us. One that doesn't discriminate. Should we not stop picking our battles, where there are battles that have been infecting us without choice? We never had $1 billion to help end world poverty, but a war comes along with alterior motives, and the money flows. Ending lives. If all this money went toward helping to end poverty, lives could be saved, the seeds of a better world could be planted. Don't we want that for our kids? If we sent a $ 1 billion to a different country each day for 4 years, which is what we have done for the last 4 years sending all this money to Iraq, we could END world poverty, or come close. All the lives that would be saved would make the record numbers of our national debt WORTH something. If we are going to be in debt for the next couple hundred years, why not be in debt because we tried to make a difference in the world. Tried for something good, not because there was something to gain. The world is so unbalanced. Money seems to be the only thing that has any meaning anymore. Billions are spent on war each DAY, yet every year only a meek $1 million is sent to Africa to help fight poverty, disease, provide education, and fight HIV/AIDS. Our government isn't even improving the education and lives of OUR kids. There's money for war, but no money for our kids. Something is not right in this world...

The Ultimate In Manhood Compensation...

I saw a yellow Hummer today. I loathe Hummers, they are one of if not THE worst fuel emmissions vehicles in the world. Not only that but the Hummer is supposedly an all-terrain vehicle of sorts, yet the only people I've seen driving them are middle aged men wearing ties and rappers, both of whom I seriously doubt EVER take it camping or into areas of rough terrain. Hummers are also obnoxious in color, usually it's yellow, orange, red or some other "look at me" color. The Hummer is simply a way for middle aged bussiness men and celebrities to show off, it's a showcase for their status. Meanwhile, thousands are dying in Iraq so they can rapidly piss away our fuel resources. How American. Doesn't every person come to the point where it's just ridiculous? The true purpose of the Hummer was to serve as a military vehicle. People seem to care more about social status and perception than the fact that Hummers are terrible for the environment. Not only that, but Hummers do not have to meet the fuel emmision standards because they weigh in at over 8,500 lbs. and are considered military vehicles by the goverment, though a much flashier, image-based version of the origional Hummers. Most people don't even know that bussiness owners are compensated for owning Hummers, they can deduct half the price of their Hummers from their taxes. Hummer owners who are in the top tax bracket also receive an extra $10,000 back from their taxes. So in escence the goverment is paying Hummer owners to help destroy our planet. It especially fascinates me that people are still buying Hummers when they have clearly become the mainstream symbol for manhood compensation. So thank you to the wealthy, status-oriented, small-penises of America for gracing us with their presence in neon colored Hummers everywhere...

Help End The Commercial Seal Hunting In Canada...

There is a massive seal hunt going on right now in Canada, and seals are being clubbed to death by the thousands. "Canada's annual seal hunt is the largest slaughter of marine mammals on the planet. This year the Canadian government allowed fishermen to club and shoot more than 330,000 baby seals in the North Atlantic, just to earn a few extra bucks by selling seal skins. Last year, 98.5% of the seals killed were two months of age or younger—and veterinary reports indicate that many seals have been skinned while still conscious and able to feel pain. The HSUS's ProtectSeals team was on the ice at this year's hunt to document the unspeakable violence that takes place far from the eyes of the world." This is truly a targedy, they're just baby seals, and they are horribly killed just for their fur. One thing that everyone can do to help is simply refuse to have anything to do with Canadian Seafood. It's an easy way to help the fight to stop this tragedy from occuring year after year, and it can make a real difference. Places like Red Lobster receive their seafood from Canada, by not going there you can show them you will not have any part of such cruelty in the name of profit. There is footage of these tragic events on the Humane Society's Website that everyone needs to see. It wil break your heart, no human being could not be touched by what has happened here. We are their only hope for survival, if nothing is done soon the human greed for profit will destroy one more species. It's a real sad realization when you see how far people are willing to go to make a profit, and what sort of cruelty they are willing to profit from. ~ Help save the seals by joining the HSUS' Save The Seals Campaign...

Facing Myself...

So after struggling for the last two years, I am finally ready to face my eating disorder. I've just had this realization that I need to stop the cycle and come to terms with a lot of things I've been fighting. The last two years I've seen myself become a very lost person, and I've felt very unhappy with my body for a long time. It's been two years of struggling to love who I am, two years of rapid weight dropping and gaining. It's been two years of silence and lying to the people I care about, and empty smiles. Smiles that haven't come from a happiness inside me, but from something I've been trying to feel all along but never really felt at all. It's been cloudy and confusing for too long. Eating to let go of pain, but it only brings more. Not eating and hours of exercising only to feel guilty and more obsessive about my body. The overwhelming addiction to being constantly better, and comparing myself to everyone all the time, has been a part of me for so long. I don't really know what to do now. I'm not sure what is next. I locked it away for so long, like a little secret. But now I've told, and I know I am going to be alright, and those who love me will help me find real smiles, and real acceptance. I think I am ready for the road ahead, and maybe a happy smile soon...

Want To Stalk Me?...Buy my stuff on Ebay!..

It's official, I'm a computer geek. I just listed some great books on Half.com (I'm Pinkerbellbunny). Some college books, but some just books I've read. Look up 'A People's History of the United States' by Howard Zinn (2003) and you'll find me! I recommend it to everyone, Very intelligently written book!..

Redneck Chevy Operator Pisses Off Road-Rage Prone Treehugger...

Today was not a great day. My MRI is on Monday but my knee is killing me in the meantime. My road rage got the best of me today. I stopped to get gas, and some asshole who was at the pump in front of me took up so much space, I couldn't pull far enough ahead. The jackass could barely reach his own gas tank, and I was blocked in from behind so I had to wait until he was done. When he finally left and I was able to get gas, I backed out because there was a new car at the pump in front of me. I pull out and go to drive around and some idiot parked his truck in front of the fucking door into the gas station building so there wasn't enough room for cars to get through between the truck and the cars pumping gas. I mean the parking spots were a few feet away! How rude, some morons just think they have some special right to park right in front of the fucking door just because they are too lazy to walk a few feet. To make it worse his back window had a white buck decal that said 'Size Matters.' What a huge jackass. "Hey look at me, I'm a redneck and I park my bigass Chevy whereever I want, 'cuz I got special parking priviledges. Why you ask? 'Cuz I shoot defenseless animals to make myself feel like a man." I'd like to see exactly how small his balls are to have to shoot innocent animals to make him feel like a man...Holy F*cking Sh*t, People!...

Love And War Explained...

What is love?..
Love is a card they sell you from the aisle of a gift shop.
Flowers that never see sunlight decorated with a bow.
War is something the government sells us for power.
Freedom is what they give us, so they can take control of us.
Guns are what they put in our hands to watch us kill each other.
Children are used as curtains to hide the absence of heart.
Those who can, do.
Just because they can.
We take away their faces, so they won't stare at us.
Take away their voices, to silence the pain.
Take away life, to give ourselves redemption.
Speak out against the speaking, silenced by the silence.
No-one has been listening...
No-one has been watching...
No-one knows...
It's the only explanation...

Coward Shoots Defenseless Bear, Will Pay $ And It Will Go Away...

According to an indictment unsealed this week, in October 2004 Gentry (half of Montgomery Gentry) paid $4,650 to shoot the "trophy-caliber" bear named "Cubby" at the Minnesota Wildlife Connection in northern Minnesota, which advertises itself as a place where animals can be photographed in the wild. After using a bow and arrow to kill the animal inside its pen, Gentry and the owner of the preserve tagged the bear and registered it with the state as if it had been killed in the wild. A videotape was edited to make it appear that Gentry had hunted down the bear. It takes a real coward to shoot a defenseless bear in its pen with a bow and arrow. Seriously, what a coward. This place should be shut down, they try to pass themselves off as an animal-friendly place which shows animals in their natural habitat...yet they let some country loser come along and pay them less than $5,000 to shoot a caged bear. To make it even worse they try to falsify information to help cover it up. Gentry will pay a $20,000 fine (which he has plenty of money, so it won't make a difference to him), and the Minnesota Wildlife Connection will...oh...they will have to do nothing...pay nothing...deny everything...and it will go away. Honestly, how can you look an animal in the face and do that? How? I'd like to know what kind of person can look at a defenseless animal in a cage, and shoot it, not with a gun...with a bow and arrow, to bring the animal to a slower more painful death...How sad. How honestly SAD...

Tiny Hands...

So I was really tired today at work and I volunteered myself for the baby room. One of our babies is named Kyrsten, she is one years old, and just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. I was rocking in the rocking chair as I held her in my arms and she drifted off to sleep. She slept for TWO HOURS. Naptime started but I didn't want to wake her up to take her to the nap room, so I just held her in my arms as she slept. I stared at her the whole time, and a special feeling came over me. I thought a lot as I sat in the rocking chair. It was so quiet. She was so small, and so innocent. It was peaceful and she felt fragile in my arms, like I had to hold her with more care than I've ever held anything before, or she'd brake. She was beautiful, she reminded me why I became a teacher, and why I want to someday be a mother. She reminded me why we have to fight to change the world, as little or as small as the changes might be, she deserves a better world. When she finally woke up, she just looked at me and I asked her to give me five. She just held her hand up in front of her and I put my hand up against hers. Her hands were so small, so soft and tiny, they were the hands that reminded me that we all have an obligation in life to make the world a better place for our kids...

Southern China Shows No Mercy As The Slaughter Continues...

As you all have probably heard the officials in Southern China have ordered the slaughter of some 50,000 dogs because 3 people have died from rabies. This is outrageous! There are humane ways of preventing people from getting rabies, and the immediate order to slaughter all the dogs in Southern China is NOT one of them. It's a ridiculous response to what has happened, and not an effective solution to prevent people from contracting rabies. I mean if we're going to slaughter all the dogs in Southern China since three people have died from rabies, than why not kick Bush out of office? He's exterminating the human population faster than any disease. I am very saddened by these events, rabies has taken three lives, but human fear has instated a panic that has willfully taken the lives of many innocent creatures. The response of Southern Chinese officials was one that sparked from panic, and in turn was haste and not thought out. Dogs have been clubbed, strangled, their throats slit, beaten to death, among the many other ways people have discovered to take life away. All without a second thought...Situations like this can be prevented humanely. I am left to mourn for the innocent creatures slaughtered in the wake of human panic and fear...I think the many lives lost here deserve a moment of silence and contemplation...

A Life In Confindment...

I just got home from the Tallmadge protest, we were protesting Carson & Barnes Circus for their mistreatment of animals. The sad thing is only two of us actually showed up for the protest, so we both handed out information instead of holding sings. I am really proud of us, we handed out alot of information and DVDs depicting the harsh training sessions, and the cruel trainers who work for Carson & Barnes Circus. It's very sad the way such beautiful and wild creatures are taken and beaten, bullhooked, analy shocked, and abused into submission. Honestly I don't understand people, they turn a blind eye to the abuse so they can go see wild animals perform tricks for their enjoyment. How do they think those animals are made to perform? Seriously. Carson & Barnes has been sighted many times and fined for neglecting their animals, improper transportation in unsafe vehicles, lack of veterinary care for the animals, and living conditions that don't even meet the minimum requirements. Baby elephants are taken from their mothers, transported, and sold to circuses at 6 months old, and their training begins immediately. When the animals are not performing, they are kept in spaces only big enough to fit them, with no room to move. Many of the elephants are kept in solitary confindment most of their lives. What kind of life is one lived in confindment, shackled and caged? It's a life I would not like to live. Carson & Barnes, like many other circuses, stoops low to make profit. They were fined for using an elephant with a broken leg for people to ride on. Once it was determined the animal was injured the Circus was also found to be guilty of giving the elephant no medical care whatsoever for it's broken leg. The least these animals deserve after being robbed of a life where they belong, is descent conditions and descent treatment, and animal/human contact that doesn't involve abuse. The sad thing about the circus is it targets young unsuspecting children by painting a picture of fun, when it's really all about the profit. Selling the mistreatment of animals behind a mask of laughter and clowns to children, is not only greedy but sad. Animals in confindment have been documented as suffering from depression due to lack of contact with other animals and only miniscule positive contact from people. Help make elephants and other wild animals wild again, or at least help fight for their right to a descent existence. Visit this site to learn more...

Concrete Angels...

So on my way to the University of Akron yesterday, I was stopped at a red light. A woman crossed the street in front of me with a stroller and a little boy following behind her. All of a sudden she turns around and smacks the little boy and yells at him to walk faster. That stuck with me. How can a mother hit her child like that and be so angry at him for something so meaningless as walking too slow. It's kept me thinking that there is so much abuse against children in the world. People are suffering, but children are really suffering. They get the short end of our misguidance. There seems to be no money to educate them, but we are sending 1 billion dollars a day to feed the war in the Middle East. Give a billion dollars to any school and their children will be educated. Give a billion dollars to war and many children will suffer and die. The state of the world seems so out of balance. Children are our future, if we want the world to be a better place, should we not teach our children and educate them to make changes and be descent people? When that woman smacked that little boy, that smack meant something to me. It made me realize our children are not a priority, and are widely mistreated by our government. Bush gave us No Child Left Behind, yet our schools have no money and children not only in the United States but all over the world are left far behind and forgotten in the face of greed and misguided beliefs. We need to stop taking away from our children and start giving them hope for a better world someday. If not now, when? These children are the ones who will reap our losses as their generation is sent further into debt than any generation before. Their earth will be hotter than ever before due to global warming, and the suffering of their people and animals will be deeper. It should be our responsibility to teach them and prepare them to be compassionate, educated, and heard. We ought to be raising standing, speaking, caring children so they may slow down the destruction of our planet, it's creatures, and the human race someday...

Indifference...

People are so indifferent these days. Or they'll support your cause, but they won't join the cause. At least if someone supports something or is against something, they have an opinion and are aware that there is something going on, but being indifferent is like not caring and choosing to be ignorant. Indifference comes from fear of not conforming, and the fear that others won't approve of your beliefs. The only victory in any fight is when you can look in the mirror and stand by what you do and know the reasons are right...

Nerves...

Very stressful and long day at work. Getting all my books for the fall, and working 10 hour days the past few weeks is getting to me. Our bi-weekly anti-fur protest is tomorrow, and Sunday there is a protest in Tallmadge I am going to. The dieting is driving me crazy, and I'm insanely inspired to work on my art piece but there seems to be no time. Too much planning for school and work, the semester is about to start and I have five classes to worry about, and I'm trying to squeeze in a daily workout. I still have to complete my activities for the upcoming school year. The kids are helping to keep me in a positive mood, their laughter has become a highly effective energy alternative resource. Just found out yesterday I need to get an MRI for my right knee on the 21st and I'm nervous. I am very afraid of IVs, I still cry when I receive shots. Scared...

The Cookies...

So I've lost the first 5 pounds, and I'm excited! I'm baking cookies obsessively on a daily basis, but I'm alright. I have eaten none of the cookies!

The Future Looks Bright...

I've been really stressed out the past week trying to get all of my school stuff handled for the Fall semester, and figuring out my work schedule. I've been getting more and more excited about moving to Maui. It's a little bit scary, it's a long way from small town Ohio. I have to figure out when I need to trade my car in before I leave, set up a schedule for shipping some of my things, and organize all of my lesson plans before I leave in nine months. I am stressed out, nine months seems like a lot of time, but working part-time and going to school full time leaves little time for much else...

Laughter...

Today was a beautiful day at work, and we stayed outside all afternoon with my class. I chased the kids with a squirt bottle, and hosed them down, then I let them get me all wet by giving me slippery water hugs. It was alot of fun! Just what I needed today. The kids were so happy, and I was happy, and we laughed all afternoon. Sharing laughter with kids is a special thing, so I am thankful for what the kids have given me today! This morning I was a popsicle, tonight I am a melted puddle of juice. That's what happens when your heart is touched by warmth...You turn into a puddle of juice.

Closing the Book...

Love.
Not worth saving after all.
The end...

Life In Fuschia and On a Diet...

So I decided that I am overweight, and I need to get back on my diet. I started today by putting in a workout session in the basement on my eliptical machine, and the Bowflex, along with some crunches and upper leg strength training. The funny thing is, now that I've sworn off everything I like to eat once again, I have the unresting urge to bake chocolate chocolate chip cookies. Everytime I diet I take my urges to eat things I like right to the kitchen. I bake uncontrollably so others can consume it, and somehow watching everyone else consume the thousands of calories I crank out of the oven and resisting, gives me a sense of satisfaction. I know it's wrong, but I can't stop it! Haha. So I am off to bake...

Take the Blindfold Off and Speak...

Alright, Condeleeza Rice seems so far up George W. Bush's ass, she seems to be completely unaware of what's going on in the world. Honestly, do her and George W. Bush live on their own little planet where only what they aknowledge is actually happening? I mean did she not witness the atrocious ignorance that took place when Hurricane Katrina happened? She stood by while her people were in desperate need of help, and did nothing, just as George W. Bush did nothing. The woman has got to be the most supressed being I've ever seen, and she chooses to be. Her and George W. Bush spoke today of the proposed resolution to end the violence in Lebanon and Israel, and made the comment that the administration would take a few days to consider all the aspects, and look over the proposed resolution, proposed by the French. She did however mention that Lebanon and Israel's ideas would also be taken into consideration when approving the proposed resolution. Well how nice since it is they who are at war. Honestly, it seems wrong somehow that we are making policies and resolutions for other countries. I mean the international powers, which basically are the United States and any other powers, though not as powerful as America, that support us in our movement to take hold of the Middle East and their oil fields. But it's nice of Condoleeza Rice to at least say consideration will be given to Israel and Lebanon's ideas, though they will not have a say, their ideas will be given some consideration. If were so supportive of international powers making all the decisions, why not step back and let the other powers make policies for us? Why should we have the benefit of making our own policies, while contries who we consider as being below us have no say in their own policies, though they are given some consideration? No-one is making our policies for us and telling us the right way to live, and telling us which government we need, we decide for ourselves, so why not give other countries and people the same rights and benefits? It seems other countries don't deserve our help in ending poverty and disease, but we in turn do deserve the fruits of their countries, oil being one of them. People can be so ugly when they are after something. Politics consists of undercover crimes, hidden from the masses, and somehow they convince us to give our approval to their wrongs. Politics and greed make people do very ugly things. It feels like people are actually alright with approving the wrongs of the government, because if you speak out against the great establishment of our fathers, you are considered a threat to the freedom of your country. Freedom of speech seems free only when what you speak is what they want you to speak. It seems the people in power are controlling our freedom, and in turn controlling the masses with half-truths and blantant lies. Yet it's all for our own good they say. Our own good seems to come at the cost of many lives, and the loss of all that we hold in value. We are handing our approval to greed, signing death sentences for the masses, without even seeking the truth. We are allowing our own deception. The government is leading us with blindfolds on, and with a blindfold on you can't see the death, the poverty, the tears, the homeless children, the homeless animals, you are able to be lead by those with open eyes through the valley of death while they tell you it's a field of flowers. You can't see evil standing in front of you, unless you open your eyes. Take the blindfold off and speak...

Love...

I miss the hugs...I miss them alot...

A Late Night Thought...

It was the middle of the night. I looked at the clock and it said 3:14. I listened to the night sounds through my open window, and I thought to myself "Here I am laying in my bed, while so many people and animals have no home..."

The Unseen War...

Freedom is not ringing in the streets, only gunfire.
I see tears, and they will be remembered.
Bombs are not the hands of liberation.
People are not the only casualties today, human kindness is nowhere to be found.
What is the use in having power, if the morals of a society will allow it's misuse?
Children aren't learning today, they are the victims of a misguided belief.
Peace is the claim of a leader, yet there is no peace for the homeless and the dying.
We call it the freedom of a people, yet I see none who are free...

(not my picture)

Bear Wrestling...

So there is going to be a bear named Ceasar wrestling at Scorcher's tonight. He is owned by a guy named Mazzola, who owns Posh Niteclub here in northeast Ohio. He is a real jerk, and has no compassion for animals, or human beings for that matter. He rents out this bear named Ceasar, who he also uses at his niteclub, and basically drunks pay to wrestle the bear. The bear is in pathetic condition, has a bear bottom, which means it's been living in its own feces, and is drugged and made to try to defend itself against drunks. How shaming and awful. Basically people pay to wrestle the bear, and they go one after another, so the bear gets no rest. It's awful, and people call this entertainment. I am very sadenned that things like this are allowed to go on, that people allow such a dispicable mistreatment of animals to occur. I consider people who participate in such activities to be very low and cruel. What is a life lived inside a cage, being drugged and humiliated inside a niteclub by a bunch of drunks over and over. People seem to have a need to overpower creatures who they deem more powerful, in a very unfair and sad manner. Wild animals belong in the wild, not drugged, trying to defend itself in a niteclub. People seem to have this dier need to tarnish anything that is beautiful and turn it into something very ugly. I am truly discouraged by things like this. Makes me question my faith in humanity...

I'd Like To Thank GM for Its Contribution to Global Warming...

Well it's another hot day in Ohio...I'd like to thank the good people at GM for giving us the HUMMER, and helping to destroy the ozone layer of the planet I live on, therefore ensuring the increasingly rapid destruction of my planet...

*Save our planet, give HUMMER drivers the bird...